He Loves My Legs...????

Unbelievable... the part of my body that I most wish were different... the part that I most see as unflattering... and my Joe pipes up the other day--totally out of the blue, and says, and I quote... "I love your legs!"

Did I say "thank you darling," or "you are so sweet." ??? No, I did not. I argued with him. "MY LEGS? Are You Nuts? I aspire to anyone else's legs than mine, you cannot love my legs!"

Then he went back to the city and I had time to reflect. Why on earth would I argue about a compliment from the man in my life?

I think that we women program ourselves from an early age to see our bodies in a certain way. I was never skinny, but I certainly was never fat either as a child. When I hit 12 or 13 I started feeling fat though... I was taller than some of the kids in my class but healthy and slim looking-- according to old photos. But, I was comparing myself to the girls I considered the most beautiful in my class. They all happened to be on the slight side, shorter and smaller than I was. Since then I have always considered myself "big-boned," "having a sturdy frame," and definitely a "big woman." It was another woman, who in a discussion about this topic, attempted to set me straight a year or so ago. She asserted that I was far from big boned, sturdy or big in general... hmmmm. She compared me to various friends of various sizes. She compared our wrists (?) and pointed out mine was pretty small for a big boned woman!

Since then I have been trying to see myself in a better light--more realistically. It's hard though--hard to undo years of programming.

AND... it's hard to let go of the standard of beauty we have set up to compare ourselves to... Do I have to look like Cher to look good at 55? Of course she has had tons of plastic surgery and looks better at 60 than I looked at 30! We get these pictures in our head of what is beautiful and then we can never measure up. We do not see ourselves truly. We see what we have decided is true.

It's very hard to feel sexy and hot for my man when I am worried about not lying on my side because my boobs droop, or not sitting down while naked because my belly pouches out. When did I decided that only the Julia Roberts of the world were beautiful and sexy and I had best stay dressed at all times? I am sure if I had a personal trainer, plastic surgeon, spa, and photo air brusher... I could look as good as Julie Roberts and Cher any day!

My challenge--and I urge all of you to join me--is to state, out loud and emphatically, "Aren't my ______ gorgeous???" and fill in with the part of your body that you most feel is unbeautiful. If you do not have a safe person to say this too--say it to the mirror! Email it to me! Tell your mother! It is so much healthier to appreciate our bodies. It is so much easier to take care of our bodies when we love them and honor them.

Of course my legs are not perfect. They have cellulite and veins and dry skin and too much fat. But they work pretty well. They ARE the only two I have. And besides, Joe loves them! They will never look like they did at 17 (if only I had appreciated them then.) and I have to accept that. For 55... not bad though! (I am working up to, "Aren't my legs gorgeous...!")